5 Calm-Down Tools for Toddlers

Toddlers are known for their big emotions, and one of the most challenging aspects of early childhood is managing meltdowns. These emotional outbursts, often triggered by frustration, fatigue, or the inability to express their needs, are a normal part of development as young children learn to navigate the world around them. 

While meltdowns can be overwhelming for both toddlers and their caregivers, they are actually important moments of growth—offering opportunities to build emotional regulation skills and strengthen communication. Understanding why meltdowns happen is the first step in responding with patience, empathy, and effective strategies.

Creating a plan ahead of time to help with this learning opportunity for the toddler in your world is imperative for maintaining your own sanity as well. Below are 5 tools you can pre-plan to help mitigate potential meltdowns or help calm your toddler if it occurs.

🌈1. Breathing Techniques

Breathing exercises can be a powerful tool to help toddlers calm down during moments of stress or frustration. Deep, mindful breathing counters this by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body and reduces stress hormones like cortisol. Incorporating this daily, can guide your child to regulate their emotions and find a sense of calm. In truth this helps both of you to find calm, builds trust and teaches your child a technique they can later be used as a self regulating skill.

Here is a technique that may help. Smell the Flowers Blow the Bubbles: Walk your toddler through this breathing excercise: Ask to smell the flowers (take a deep breath in) then blow the bubbles (Breath out). Repeat for as many times as is necessary.

• What it is: Breathing in through the nose and out the mouth increases oxygen flow to the brain and can empower toddlers to manage their emotions effectively, providing them with a valuable tool for navigating the ups and downs of early childhood.

• Why it works:  It helps regulate the nervous system, promotes emotional control, and provides a simple, accessible tool for managing stress

🧸 2. Stuffed Animal or Comfort Toy

Like us, toddlers become frustrated or sad, especially if they are tired, not feeling well or teething. Having a comforting toy, pillow or blanket can help your child to feel comforted. Ask yourself "what items have I noticed that seem to calm my little one." Have a few of those items handy is important. Be aware that it may not always be a soft toy but a truck, dinosaur or favorite doll. You know your child best.

Belly Breathing with a Stuffed Animal: Have your child lie on their back and place a favorite stuffed animal on their belly. Encourage them to take slow, deep breaths, watching the stuffed animal rise and fall with each inhale and exhale. This visual cue helps them focus on their breath and promotes relaxation.

• What it is: A soft plush toy (Or any small toy that is special to your child) that they can hug or hold.

• Why it works: Provides comfort, familiarity, and a safe outlet for emotions.

  
  

🎨 3. Calm-Down Corner

Toddlers are just at the beginning of the learning curve of self regulation. They do not have the skills to calm themselves down once their emotions have overwhelmed them. Toddler have little control in their world and if there is too much noise, activity, or emotion, this can lead to a melt down. Often as adults we fail to recognize when a child is feeling overwhelmed because we may be feeling that way ourselves. This is when they need a safe place to recompose themselves. (Truth be told sometimes both need a safe place to recompose.)

Creating a calm down corner will remove over-stimulation, give them a sense of control in a space specially created for them. This helps teach self-regulation as over time your little one will start to identify their feelings.

This is also a safe place to practice breathing exercises such as the one above and this one: Bunny Breaths: Have your child pretend to be a bunny by taking several quick sniffs through the nose and then exhaling in one long breath. This technique can be especially helpful for toddlers who enjoy animal-themed activities and can be a fun way to practice breathing.

• What it is: A small designated space with soft pillows, books, fidget toys, soft toys, and visuals like emotion cards.

• Why it works: Gives toddlers a cozy, safe space to relax and regain control.

🫧 4. Bubbles or Bubble Wands

Using bubbles to calm your toddler promotes social connections between you both which not only strengthens your bond but also includes emotional support during challenging moments. The act of blowing bubbles is a fun and interactive way of incorporating play into a toddler's routine which can be a simple yet effective strategy for calming down and promoting emotional well-being as it also encourages deeper breathing and turns tears into laughter.

Watching the bubbles floating down in itself can be calming for some toddlers. Running to catch the bubbles adds a positive physical aspect that may also turn an aggressively challenging moment into fun and happy moment.

• What it is: Traditional bubble solution and wand, or even a bubble machine.

• Why it works: Encourages deep breathing in a fun, visual way. Helps reset their nervous system.

🎵 5. Soothing Music or White Noise

Often adults see temper tantrums, biting and aggressive behaviour as a selfish means to get their own way. Though that may occasionally be true, ninety-nine percent of the time it is caused by sensory overload. As yet they have not developed self regulation and often cannot talk yet and are not able to understand the intense emotions they are feeling. 

Playing soft and soothing music or white noise can act as a reset button. The child’s emotions can start to regulate through the rhythm of the music. Their breathing, heart rate, and even emotions can start to sync with the music’s calm tempo.

Playing white noise provides a neutral sound blanket that reduces the chaos, especially if there is a lot of noise in the environment. It doesn’t demand attention like voices or music can. It's not there to distract, but to stabilize.  In other words, it can help cut through the sensory noise that toddlers often can't process well during emotional spikes.

• What it is: A playlist of calm lullabies or ambient sounds (like rain or ocean waves).

• Why it works: Music can regulate mood and reduce overstimulation.

As your toddler grows he will learn these techniques for calming himself down if you use them consistently. Often as parents and educators we read an article like this and want to put them into action right away.

Slow down. Start with incorporating one technique at a time. This is also a learning curve for you. Don’t expect perfection from yourself, or you may be the one having a tantrum because your senses are over loading:) 

Think about your child. You know them best. Review the techniques and decide which one you feel will work best for the two of you and begin with that one. Be as patient with yourself as you are with your child.